I've been spending time sorting through an accumulation of materials collected over fifty five years of law practice on all kinds of subjects. Many end up in the recycle, but some still make me smile or make me think. This is an unorganized group for your review. Maybe there is something here for you.
- The popular radio program of its day, Amos and Andy, had a character: "lawyer Calhoon" who was always giving advice. His client, about to be led away to the electric chair, asked him for advice. "Don't sit down" was his advice.
- Leo Buscaglia was a writer and speaker who was well known for advice about loving other people and getting along. In one of his columns he wrote about his Italian father's garden and the many zucchini he grew. He said he planted so many there were a lot the family couldn't eat so his father would put them in sacks and give them to the neighbors. However, he says the neighborhood kids would threaten him: "I'll kill you if you dad doesn't stop giving us those green things."
- President "Silent Cal" Coolidge once gave this excellent advice:
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent. Genius will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan: "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
- "As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man (or woman) rebelled, those wrongs would last forever." Clarence Darrow
- Someone wrote: "Why worry? 40% will never happen, for anxiety is the result of a tired mind. 30% concerns old decisions that can't be changed. 12% centers on criticisms, mostly untrue, made by people who feel inferior. 10% is related to health which worsens with worry and only 8% is legitimate, showing that life does have real problems which may be met head on when you eliminate senseless ones."
- In Roger Dawson's book You Can Negotiate Anything he says he was in Mexico City on businesss and had a reservation at a hotel which said a mistake had been made and there were no rooms. Dawson asked: "What if the president of Mexico showed up. Would you find a room for him? Of, course," the clerk answered. "Well, he's not coming, so I'll take his room."
- When Adlai Stevenson was asked how it felt to lose the race for president, he said: "I was reminded of a story Abraham Lincoln used to tell. He was asked the same question after losing an election. He said he felt like the little boy who had stubbed his toe in the dark. He said he was too old to cry but it hurt too much to laugh."
- Eleanor Roosevelt once said "When I was a young woman at the age of twenty six i did a long thoughtful analysis of my life. I realized for the first time how much time I was wasting on indecision and regret. I decided right then and there that I should never again leave room in my life for those two thieves."
- A minister explaining the unknown glory of heaven told this story. Grubs living at the bottom of a pond could not understand why those that crawled up the stem of the lily pad to the top of the water never returned and wondered what happened to them. They agreed the next one who went to the surface would come back and explain. Soon one of them felt the urge to seek the surface and when he arrived he rested on the top off the lilly pad. He went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. He flew in circles around the pad but knew there was no way to keep his promise to return and explain. He had been transformed into something beautiful they could not know or understand.
- Art Buchwald wrote a humorous column for many years. One was entitled "You say you can't through? Yes you can." Here are some of his proposed responses to get attention: When the secretary says in an intimidating voice "May I inquire what you are calling about?" he recommended saying "Mr. Smith left his American Express card at the Silk Pussycat Motel, and we were wondering if we should mail it to him." If a person won't speak to you, he suggested saying: "OK, this is his pharmacist. Just tell him if he took any of those pills he picked up yesterday, he should have his stomach pumped immediately." And his absolute final method was to say angrily "I found Mr Smith's private number in my wife's handbag and I want to know what the hell it was doing there."
- In 1988 Dear Abby published something called "The station." The essence of it was that we see our lives as a long, long trip to a destination. We imagine ourselves traveling on a train and we see the passing scene as we travel along. Uppermost in our minds is the final destination. We think one day we will pull into the station, bands playing, flags waving and our dreams will come true. However, sooner or later we realize there is no one station and no one place to arrive. Instead, we must learn to relish the moment. Psalm 118 "This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." It is the regrets of yesterday and the fears of tomorrow that rob us of peace of mind. "one of these days" may be none of these days. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough. Enjoy today.
- When Jimmy Carter ran for president against Gerry Ford the media called it "the evil of two lessors."
- "Happy" Chandler, the former commissioner of baseball, said about someone: "he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if there were directions on the heel."
- About the same subject, someone has pointed out: "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."
- "I feel a little like Zsa Zsa Gabor's fifth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm not sure how to make it interesting." Al Gore
- A gas syphoning hose is known as "an Arkansas credit card." Unknown
- Walter Cronkite was an avid sail boat owner. When his wife was told that he had said that he wanted to die on a 60 foot yacht with a 16 year old mistress, she said: "he's more likely to die on a 16 foot sailboat with a 60 year old mistress."
- Dorthy Parker was challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. she said "you can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
- Enrico Caruso was a famous Italian tenor who had a world wide reputation for his singing in the 1920's. He was not a large man but he had a huge voice. Caruso believed that inside him were two personalities he called them "Big me" and "Little me." He believed they were constantly at war with one another. Before every opera, when he was standing in the wings preparing to sing, he could be heard muttering over and over to himself: "Get out little me. In, big me" and he would enter stage and release his magnificent voice.
- Columnist Sydney Harris used this sports analogy to point out the benefit of just a small amount more persistemce & success. "Consider two major league players. One hits .275 for the season and the other .300. One hitting .300 may easily have a contract paying him much more that the one hitting .275. Yet, the difference over the season is only one extra hit in 40 times at bat."
There are the few selections I thought worth repeating. I've got a lot more boxes to go so, be prepared.